Mama-mama talks...

I’m in the office while writing this so called luahan perasaan... i think this is a normal feelings especially for a 1st time mama like me.. Scared of leaving the baby with someone who have non close-relations to us..i have no problem putting my trust on others.. i’m not that paranoid kind of people.. but when it comes to my baby i can be so irrational and almost paranoid about everything.. My irrational fear is almost unbearable.. kalo ikut kan hati mcm tdk mau keluar rmh jak pi keja.. i want to be with my baby 24hours... enjoying seeing him growing every moment, every second.. but most of the time i feel like i’m a USELESS MOM because i have to hire someone else to take care of my own son!! how lucky those Mamas who have a “chance” to be a fulltime Mommy to her little baby.. Oh God.. can i wish to have a different ‘kind-of-life to live’?? i don’t ask for more.. i just wish that i can spend MORE times with my baby.. i wish i have the vise versa of my life now..more times with family and less time at work but with DOUBLE the RM..RM... i know this is mcm mat jenin ..but who knows kan...mcm org bilang ..Where there's a will there's a way..

Back to my point of feelings at this very moment..i miss my baby so much! I never miss him like now..hmmm .. i think this feeling is more to worried about him..i’m worried thinking him with the new babysitter..i’m worried if he still can’t get used with the bbysitter.. how if he can’t stop crying.?? How if the bbysitter will do something bad to my baby?? Aahh!! (my biggest fear of all!) i am so worried!!! This scary thought really make me sick..
But there’s always a blessing for being a Mom.. no matter how deep is your worries or how big is your fear there’s always someone else will share the same worry and fears to you..and even will saying to you that they understand your worries.. they understand your fears.. they understand your feelings.. You will be pampered with a thousand beautiful words and advices from other Mamas..you will never feel alone.. a mother will not lets other moms down.. The connection and bonds among Mamas are so amazing!!it’s naturally exists because the feeling and desire to share experiences and giving advices to others is a part of the cirri-ciri keibuan...as myself,( sejak jadi ibu ni) i really love to know and share to other Mama..its hard to believe that u still love to listen and talk the same things with the same person again and again.. contohnya.. bercerita pasal anak, pengalaman bersalin masing2, pengalaman bila anak sakit..dll.. that’s funny!! But this is us..the ibu-ibu..this is beyond of our control.. we enjoy sharings.. bah sharing is caring kan..:) nah..now i’m in the midst of menyerlahkan sifat keibuan ini..ahaha

.....but sometimes it can be annoying la..if this sharing2 happens at the wrong place and time.. mcm a few weeks ago my little one got measles (demam campak)..i was flooded with a different version of pantang-larang about the measles..pigi mana-mana pun kena share pasal demam campak..even the lady at kedai mkn pun pigi tegur..siap marah kami lagi kenapa bawa anak keluar2 dari rumah.. dgn nada yg menahan marah..sa jwb : anty, kami mo balik kk bah ni.. kami keja sana..terpaksa juga bawa dia keluar sbb esok kami kerja. (with the hope that she understands)).” then she said..oohh..then sambung lagi..kalo demam campak ni tdk bulih kena asap kereta..nant tambah gatal..suara pun kuat sampai tu ibu d sbelah meja pun terangsang pi join menyampuk..ouchhhh... !! ibu-ibu.... laki ku senyum2 jak..free-free ja ko kena marah kan dia bilang...

by the way... i didn’t aspect this entry ended like this.. this is supposed to be an emotional entry (as what i thought at the first place)..i feel like want to cry at the moment i started typing..my mind is at home worrying about my baby..but the 26 comments (include mine) i received at my FB leads me into this story..nda juga sa menangis di office...hehe thanks to all my mamas-in-crime..:)