Dearest Hair,

please grow faster and be stronger than ever before..! please...

(my 1st and the most wish at this beginning of 2012)



amen..

Just a state of mind..

Happy 2012!! Ok..helloo 2012! Thank you Lord for the breath of my life today.. thank  you for given me the chances to live.. thank you for the wonderful gifts, thank you for the blessings and thank you for the lessons that you’ve given and pour into my life .. thank you for everything my dear Lord! Thank you for the year 2012..

 Good bye 2011..

I will never see u again but the memories and the moment that we’ve created in you have engraved in your name ‘2011’ forever and it will never be changed..  March 20^th, 2011 was one of the most precious moment happened in the name of year 2011..we welcomed our new bundle of joy into our family.. the princess of our heart  Areanna Carla Adrian.. 

I always used to think and say that how I wished i lost my memory so that I will not remember all the bitters and painful things that ever happened in my life.. but when I look back over my life in 2011, I am amazed!! I don’t have the feeling of ingin menghilangkan ingatan as I used to.. it doesn’t mean that I have a hilariously luxury life dan hidup tanpa duka-lara throughout the year oo jauh sekali..but i think it’s the matter of the way I think and the way I look on something is change..ada kah aku sdh menjadi semakin matang? ;)when I recalled all the sad and painful things that happened I feel grateful because i think I now understand why it happen..like people said.. everything happen for a reason..  “to shift a path in a direction that meant for you”  I’ll never know how stronger I am if that was never happen.. I remembered.. my father used to say when I was crying, komplen2, marah2  why this happen? Why that happen? Its not supposed to be like this.its not supposed to be like that…!. I hate it!!.. Ihate that! I hate this happen!!! long time ago..and he said that.. semuaa tu cuma asam garam kehidupan..the hurts, sadness..that’s all called living! .. to be hurt, get upset and fall! That’s the process of shaping you to become a better person and preparing you to a moment that is yet to come..your future..  and this is the version after I get married everytime I complained..’itu cuma bunga2 dlm rumahtangga ja tu..” I even hate that kata2 now because its so TRUE and its ABSOLUTELY true! after living about 31 years baru sa faham kata2 itu.. 

so smilee:) ! Let everyone knw that today u are a lot lot stronger and wiser than u are yesterday.. let this 2012 lead us to a better person, place, state of mind and bring us a much2 more precious year than previous..

               

Happy New year!!!

Mama-mama talks...

I’m in the office while writing this so called luahan perasaan... i think this is a normal feelings especially for a 1st time mama like me.. Scared of leaving the baby with someone who have non close-relations to us..i have no problem putting my trust on others.. i’m not that paranoid kind of people.. but when it comes to my baby i can be so irrational and almost paranoid about everything.. My irrational fear is almost unbearable.. kalo ikut kan hati mcm tdk mau keluar rmh jak pi keja.. i want to be with my baby 24hours... enjoying seeing him growing every moment, every second.. but most of the time i feel like i’m a USELESS MOM because i have to hire someone else to take care of my own son!! how lucky those Mamas who have a “chance” to be a fulltime Mommy to her little baby.. Oh God.. can i wish to have a different ‘kind-of-life to live’?? i don’t ask for more.. i just wish that i can spend MORE times with my baby.. i wish i have the vise versa of my life now..more times with family and less time at work but with DOUBLE the RM..RM... i know this is mcm mat jenin ..but who knows kan...mcm org bilang ..Where there's a will there's a way..

Back to my point of feelings at this very moment..i miss my baby so much! I never miss him like now..hmmm .. i think this feeling is more to worried about him..i’m worried thinking him with the new babysitter..i’m worried if he still can’t get used with the bbysitter.. how if he can’t stop crying.?? How if the bbysitter will do something bad to my baby?? Aahh!! (my biggest fear of all!) i am so worried!!! This scary thought really make me sick..
But there’s always a blessing for being a Mom.. no matter how deep is your worries or how big is your fear there’s always someone else will share the same worry and fears to you..and even will saying to you that they understand your worries.. they understand your fears.. they understand your feelings.. You will be pampered with a thousand beautiful words and advices from other Mamas..you will never feel alone.. a mother will not lets other moms down.. The connection and bonds among Mamas are so amazing!!it’s naturally exists because the feeling and desire to share experiences and giving advices to others is a part of the cirri-ciri keibuan...as myself,( sejak jadi ibu ni) i really love to know and share to other Mama..its hard to believe that u still love to listen and talk the same things with the same person again and again.. contohnya.. bercerita pasal anak, pengalaman bersalin masing2, pengalaman bila anak sakit..dll.. that’s funny!! But this is us..the ibu-ibu..this is beyond of our control.. we enjoy sharings.. bah sharing is caring kan..:) nah..now i’m in the midst of menyerlahkan sifat keibuan ini..ahaha

.....but sometimes it can be annoying la..if this sharing2 happens at the wrong place and time.. mcm a few weeks ago my little one got measles (demam campak)..i was flooded with a different version of pantang-larang about the measles..pigi mana-mana pun kena share pasal demam campak..even the lady at kedai mkn pun pigi tegur..siap marah kami lagi kenapa bawa anak keluar2 dari rumah.. dgn nada yg menahan marah..sa jwb : anty, kami mo balik kk bah ni.. kami keja sana..terpaksa juga bawa dia keluar sbb esok kami kerja. (with the hope that she understands)).” then she said..oohh..then sambung lagi..kalo demam campak ni tdk bulih kena asap kereta..nant tambah gatal..suara pun kuat sampai tu ibu d sbelah meja pun terangsang pi join menyampuk..ouchhhh... !! ibu-ibu.... laki ku senyum2 jak..free-free ja ko kena marah kan dia bilang...

by the way... i didn’t aspect this entry ended like this.. this is supposed to be an emotional entry (as what i thought at the first place)..i feel like want to cry at the moment i started typing..my mind is at home worrying about my baby..but the 26 comments (include mine) i received at my FB leads me into this story..nda juga sa menangis di office...hehe thanks to all my mamas-in-crime..:)

Sememangnya, Sudah Tertulis...

Akhirnya..! datang juga mood ku utk menulis blog thn ini..:) syukur la.. hihihi.. thanks for the aura of the mother’s day.. ya, bcos i’m a mama..a hot mama..*wink*wink*.. I really wanted to THANK to my mom and even to all moms who had to go through PAIN to bring us into this world.. hmm..the word PAIN and HURT doesn’t really pictures and explains what the mothers really gone through during the process of bringing us into this world! How much or how bad does giving birth hurt was something that i have never imagined!! It’s really hurt like HELL!..i remember, it hurt until i can’t even cry.. ! i don’t realized the tears dropping from my eyes. .all i can do is crying in my heart and praying so that it “finishes” quickly! or..or..i die.. i felt that i could not bear the pain much longer.. But, God is so Good!

Sept 23^rd, 2009, (15:21) this date and every single moment in it still fresh in my memory and it will never melt away... the day that i became a proud mother to my beautiful little baby boy, Aaron Carll Adrian.. and the day that has changed my life, the day i became crazy! YA, sia ulang skali lagi..CRAZY!! The moment i saw my baby and touched his little hand..i say to God.., “ God, I want another baby!” crazy isn’t?? those painful experience transformed into a bundle of JOY..It was truly a magical experience ever!! Now, i understand why we have brothers and sisters.. when a mother giving birth, she doesn't only bring a baby but more loves and happiness to the family entirely..

To all single women out there.. it was “written” that giving birth is painful..this is our curse born as a woman.. but believe me, it’s definitely worth the pain! Like i said it will be your magical experience.. Getting pregnant and giving birth are amazing..a God’s greatest gift to us..a woman..a mother..

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL MOMMA...

7 months old

3 months old

1 Months old

1 day old

a few minutes old..:)

Happy Mother's Day to me...!!

It would drive me crazy not knowing!!

Its have been so.. long! Yeah.. I almost forget about this blog.. luckily I save the password somewhere.. I don’t knw.. I just not in the mood of viewing my own blog for the past few months.. it might sound crazy when I say that I feel “dizzy” every time I accessed my blog..but this is true! Hahahaa.. this blog will remind me of my early pregnancy temperament..the morning sickness, dizziness, nausea-ness, craving-ness..etc..etc.. I think this might because of i started this blog during that ‘time’ and I talked a lot about it until I feel that this blog is connected with my preg. temperament..iskk..apa ba sa cakap nie.. sa pun nda paham..hmm

anyway.. I’m now enjoying my 3rd trimester, the final trimester.. it feels amazing! besides the KG that I gained la..(worrying about it later) don’t wanna load my mind about it now..! There are too many other important things that needs more concern at this time.. and worth paying attention to..my baby, my health, the money and so...on.. Now we are busy preparing and shopping for our baby’s stuff.. ya, I now some people do not encourage buying things too early for a baby in your tummy (unborn baby)… They said, if something happen to your pregnancy (palis-palis) you will be double-broken heart and bla..bla...but honestly.. I’ve been online shopping for my baby’s stuff since I was about 3 months pregnant..ya really! ;) tp yg basic2 jak la.. for me, I believe buying baby’s stuff is part of a good planning for having a baby.. most baby’s things and products are not cheap! and we will need a LOT of new things for the baby.. so I think buying baby’s things little by little is a wiser plan because it could help us moderate the expenses over the few months of my pregnancy until I give birth.. well, it doesn’t mean that I don’t respect other’s belief/ point of view (buying baby’s stuff too early) that’s what they think. and I have no comment for that.. but as for me, I prefer praying and just put my faith in Him. if God’s will..and it will..:)

As of today..i’m in 29 weeks, 3 days..but we still didn’t find out the sex of our baby! We went for the ultrasound scanning for two times but the doctor cant give us the 100% answer.. he said that the position of the baby didn’t allow us to see his/ her “down there”.. arrghh.!. I cant stand of this surprise any longer.. so we plan to go for another ultrasound this weekend..

My dear baby.. Please allow mommy to see who u are this time around ok.. so its much easier for mommy to prepare your things.;) I know your dad is enjoying this surprise and he love the fun of waiting.. but mommy wants everything is perfect for you..so please listen to mommy ok:)

This torture came especially when it comes to buying the baby outfits.. I found out that MOST of the baby’s stuff are gender specific..the unisex choices are very limited.. ya EVERYTHING! Not only the clothes..but everthing! Even the feeding set..blankets..cloth diaper.. dan semuanya la..

For me, if you knew the gender of your baby.. it can help you to prepare better for the baby.. and of course you can focus on finding a name..

..sharing some thoughts..

A friend forwarded this to me.. it was very thoughtful words..

Be careful of your words
for your words become your actions.

Be careful of your actions
for your actions become your habits.

Be careful of your habits
for your habits become your character.

Be careful of your character
for your character becomes your destiny.

I’m still suffering from my morning sickness but I’m trying to enjoy and be grateful for every single moment of it.. o ya, I had a wonderful breakfast this morning..i love the seafood mee sup and a sip of Tea-O si cie.. tahan hati jak. Arrr!!.jeles btl tgk cie minum tea baa..!

just a tags..

It's Harder Than It Looks! Copy To Your Own Note, Erase My Answers, Enter Yours, And Tag 10 People. Use The First Letter Of Your Name To Answer Each Of The Following Questions. They Have To Be Real...Nothing Made Up! If The Person Before You Had The Same First Initial, You Must Use Different Answers. You Cannot Use Any Word Twice And You Can't Use Your Name For The Boy/ Girl Name Question. HAVE FUN!!!

1. What Is Your Name?
FLORIDA

2. A Four Letter Word:
FIVE

3. A Boy's Name:
FRANCIS

4. A Girl's Name:
FIONA

5. An Occupation:
FISHERMAN

6. A Color:
FOREST GREEN

7. Something You Wear:
FAVORITE LIP GLOSS

8. A Food:
FRENCH FRIES

9. Something Found In The Bathroom:
FACIAL CLEANSER

10. A Place:
FLORIST SHOP.. place juga ba itu..

11. A Reason For Being Late:
FUCKING JAM!

12. Something You Shout:
FIX IT!! FASTER!! hehe

13. A Movie Title:
FANTASTIC FOUR

14. Something You Drink:
FRUIT JUICE

15. A Musical Group:
FABULOUS CAT

16. A Street Name:
FOURTH STREET…macam sia pernah dengar2 ba..

17. A Type Of Car:
FORD

18. A Song Title:
FROSTY THE SNOWMAN ;)

19. A Verb:
FADE AWAY

::this is really fun! thanks for tagging cytna..:)

:: I only tag si sigu Vic:)