.Diapers.LipGloss.Happiness.

Dearest Hair,

2012-01-12T17:52:00.000-08:00

please grow faster and be stronger than ever before..! please...

(my 1st and the most wish at this beginning of 2012)

amen..

Just a state of mind..

2011-12-31T15:34:00.000-08:00

Happy 2012!! Ok..helloo 2012! Thank you Lord for the breath of my life today.. thank you for given me the chances to live.. thank you for the wonderful gifts, thank you for the blessings and thank you for the lessons that you’ve given and pour into my life .. thank you for everything my dear Lord! Thank you for the year 2012..

Good bye 2011..

I will never see u again but the memories and the moment that we’ve created in you have engraved in your name ‘2011’ forever and it will never be changed.. March 20^th, 2011 was one of the most precious moment happened in the name of year 2011..we welcomed our new bundle of joy into our family.. the princess of our heart Areanna Carla Adrian..

I always used to think and say that how I wished i lost my memory so that I will not remember all the bitters and painful things that ever happened in my life.. but when I look back over my life in 2011, I am amazed!! I don’t have the feeling of ingin menghilangkan ingatan as I used to.. it doesn’t mean that I have a hilariously luxury life dan hidup tanpa duka-lara throughout the year oo jauh sekali..but i think it’s the matter of the way I think and the way I look on something is change..ada kah aku sdh menjadi semakin matang? ;)when I recalled all the sad and painful things that happened I feel grateful because i think I now understand why it happen..like people said.. everything happen for a reason.. “to shift a path in a direction that meant for you” I’ll never know how stronger I am if that was never happen.. I remembered.. my father used to say when I was crying, komplen2, marah2 why this happen? Why that happen? Its not supposed to be like this.its not supposed to be like that…!. I hate it!!.. Ihate that! I hate this happen!!! long time ago..and he said that.. semuaa tu cuma asam garam kehidupan..the hurts, sadness..that’s all called living! .. to be hurt, get upset and fall! That’s the process of shaping you to become a better person and preparing you to a moment that is yet to come..your future.. and this is the version after I get married everytime I complained..’itu cuma bunga2 dlm rumahtangga ja tu..” I even hate that kata2 now because its so TRUE and its ABSOLUTELY true! after living about 31 years baru sa faham kata2 itu..

so smilee:) ! Let everyone knw that today u are a lot lot stronger and wiser than u are yesterday.. let this 2012 lead us to a better person, place, state of mind and bring us a much2 more precious year than previous..

Happy New year!!!

Mama-mama talks...

2010-06-16T14:35:00.000-07:00

I’m in the office while writing this so called luahan perasaan... i think this is a normal feelings especially for a 1st time mama like me.. Scared of leaving the baby with someone who have non close-relations to us..i have no problem putting my trust on others.. i’m not that paranoid kind of people.. but when it comes to my baby i can be so irrational and almost paranoid about everything.. My irrational fear is almost unbearable.. kalo ikut kan hati mcm tdk mau keluar rmh jak pi keja.. i want to be with my baby 24hours... enjoying seeing him growing every moment, every second.. but most of the time i feel like i’m a USELESS MOM because i have to hire someone else to take care of my own son!! how lucky those Mamas who have a “chance” to be a fulltime Mommy to her little baby.. Oh God.. can i wish to have a different ‘kind-of-life to live’?? i don’t ask for more.. i just wish that i can spend MORE times with my baby.. i wish i have the vise versa of my life now..more times with family and less time at work but with DOUBLE the RM..RM... i know this is mcm mat jenin ..but who knows kan...mcm org bilang ..Where there's a will there's a way..

Back to my point of feelings at this very moment..i miss my baby so much! I never miss him like now..hmmm .. i think this feeling is more to worried about him..i’m worried thinking him with the new babysitter..i’m worried if he still can’t get used with the bbysitter.. how if he can’t stop crying.?? How if the bbysitter will do something bad to my baby?? Aahh!! (my biggest fear of all!) i am so worried!!! This scary thought really make me sick..
But there’s always a blessing for being a Mom.. no matter how deep is your worries or how big is your fear there’s always someone else will share the same worry and fears to you..and even will saying to you that they understand your worries.. they understand your fears.. they understand your feelings.. You will be pampered with a thousand beautiful words and advices from other Mamas..you will never feel alone.. a mother will not lets other moms down.. The connection and bonds among Mamas are so amazing!!it’s naturally exists because the feeling and desire to share experiences and giving advices to others is a part of the cirri-ciri keibuan...as myself,( sejak jadi ibu ni) i really love to know and share to other Mama..its hard to believe that u still love to listen and talk the same things with the same person again and again.. contohnya.. bercerita pasal anak, pengalaman bersalin masing2, pengalaman bila anak sakit..dll.. that’s funny!! But this is us..the ibu-ibu..this is beyond of our control.. we enjoy sharings.. bah sharing is caring kan..:) nah..now i’m in the midst of menyerlahkan sifat keibuan ini..ahaha

.....but sometimes it can be annoying la..if this sharing2 happens at the wrong place and time.. mcm a few weeks ago my little one got measles (demam campak)..i was flooded with a different version of pantang-larang about the measles..pigi mana-mana pun kena share pasal demam campak..even the lady at kedai mkn pun pigi tegur..siap marah kami lagi kenapa bawa anak keluar2 dari rumah.. dgn nada yg menahan marah..sa jwb : anty, kami mo balik kk bah ni.. kami keja sana..terpaksa juga bawa dia keluar sbb esok kami kerja. (with the hope that she understands)).” then she said..oohh..then sambung lagi..kalo demam campak ni tdk bulih kena asap kereta..nant tambah gatal..suara pun kuat sampai tu ibu d sbelah meja pun terangsang pi join menyampuk..ouchhhh... !! ibu-ibu.... laki ku senyum2 jak..free-free ja ko kena marah kan dia bilang...

by the way... i didn’t aspect this entry ended like this.. this is supposed to be an emotional entry (as what i thought at the first place)..i feel like want to cry at the moment i started typing..my mind is at home worrying about my baby..but the 26 comments (include mine) i received at my FB leads me into this story..nda juga sa menangis di office...hehe thanks to all my mamas-in-crime..:)

Sememangnya, Sudah Tertulis...

2010-05-07T01:32:00.000-07:00

Akhirnya..! datang juga mood ku utk menulis blog thn ini..:) syukur la.. hihihi.. thanks for the aura of the mother’s day.. ya, bcos i’m a mama..a hot mama..*wink*wink*.. I really wanted to THANK to my mom and even to all moms who had to go through PAIN to bring us into this world.. hmm..the word PAIN and HURT doesn’t really pictures and explains what the mothers really gone through during the process of bringing us into this world! How much or how bad does giving birth hurt was something that i have never imagined!! It’s really hurt like HELL!..i remember, it hurt until i can’t even cry.. ! i don’t realized the tears dropping from my eyes. .all i can do is crying in my heart and praying so that it “finishes” quickly! or..or..i die.. i felt that i could not bear the pain much longer.. But, God is so Good!

Sept 23^rd, 2009, (15:21) this date and every single moment in it still fresh in my memory and it will never melt away... the day that i became a proud mother to my beautiful little baby boy, Aaron Carll Adrian.. and the day that has changed my life, the day i became crazy! YA, sia ulang skali lagi..CRAZY!! The moment i saw my baby and touched his little hand..i say to God.., “ God, I want another baby!” crazy isn’t?? those painful experience transformed into a bundle of JOY..It was truly a magical experience ever!! Now, i understand why we have brothers and sisters.. when a mother giving birth, she doesn't only bring a baby but more loves and happiness to the family entirely..

To all single women out there.. it was “written” that giving birth is painful..this is our curse born as a woman.. but believe me, it’s definitely worth the pain! Like i said it will be your magical experience.. Getting pregnant and giving birth are amazing..a God’s greatest gift to us..a woman..a mother..

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY TO ALL MOMMA...

7 months old

3 months old

1 Months old

1 day old

a few minutes old..:)

Happy Mother's Day to me...!!

It would drive me crazy not knowing!!

2009-07-15T01:46:00.001-07:00

Its have been so.. long! Yeah.. I almost forget about this blog.. luckily I save the password somewhere.. I don’t knw.. I just not in the mood of viewing my own blog for the past few months.. it might sound crazy when I say that I feel “dizzy” every time I accessed my blog..but this is true! Hahahaa.. this blog will remind me of my early pregnancy temperament..the morning sickness, dizziness, nausea-ness, craving-ness..etc..etc.. I think this might because of i started this blog during that ‘time’ and I talked a lot about it until I feel that this blog is connected with my preg. temperament..iskk..apa ba sa cakap nie.. sa pun nda paham..hmm

anyway.. I’m now enjoying my 3rd trimester, the final trimester.. it feels amazing! besides the KG that I gained la..(worrying about it later) don’t wanna load my mind about it now..! There are too many other important things that needs more concern at this time.. and worth paying attention to..my baby, my health, the money and so...on.. Now we are busy preparing and shopping for our baby’s stuff.. ya, I now some people do not encourage buying things too early for a baby in your tummy (unborn baby)… They said, if something happen to your pregnancy (palis-palis) you will be double-broken heart and bla..bla...but honestly.. I’ve been online shopping for my baby’s stuff since I was about 3 months pregnant..ya really! ;) tp yg basic2 jak la.. for me, I believe buying baby’s stuff is part of a good planning for having a baby.. most baby’s things and products are not cheap! and we will need a LOT of new things for the baby.. so I think buying baby’s things little by little is a wiser plan because it could help us moderate the expenses over the few months of my pregnancy until I give birth.. well, it doesn’t mean that I don’t respect other’s belief/ point of view (buying baby’s stuff too early) that’s what they think. and I have no comment for that.. but as for me, I prefer praying and just put my faith in Him. if God’s will..and it will..:)

As of today..i’m in 29 weeks, 3 days..but we still didn’t find out the sex of our baby! We went for the ultrasound scanning for two times but the doctor cant give us the 100% answer.. he said that the position of the baby didn’t allow us to see his/ her “down there”.. arrghh.!. I cant stand of this surprise any longer.. so we plan to go for another ultrasound this weekend..

My dear baby.. Please allow mommy to see who u are this time around ok.. so its much easier for mommy to prepare your things.;) I know your dad is enjoying this surprise and he love the fun of waiting.. but mommy wants everything is perfect for you..so please listen to mommy ok:)

This torture came especially when it comes to buying the baby outfits.. I found out that MOST of the baby’s stuff are gender specific..the unisex choices are very limited.. ya EVERYTHING! Not only the clothes..but everthing! Even the feeding set..blankets..cloth diaper.. dan semuanya la..

For me, if you knew the gender of your baby.. it can help you to prepare better for the baby.. and of course you can focus on finding a name..

..sharing some thoughts..

2009-02-24T18:46:00.000-08:00

A friend forwarded this to me.. it was very thoughtful words..

Be careful of your words
for your words become your actions.

Be careful of your actions
for your actions become your habits.

Be careful of your habits
for your habits become your character.

Be careful of your character
for your character becomes your destiny.

I’m still suffering from my morning sickness but I’m trying to enjoy and be grateful for every single moment of it.. o ya, I had a wonderful breakfast this morning..i love the seafood mee sup and a sip of Tea-O si cie.. tahan hati jak. Arrr!!.jeles btl tgk cie minum tea baa..!

just a tags..

2009-02-17T17:48:00.000-08:00

It's Harder Than It Looks! Copy To Your Own Note, Erase My Answers, Enter Yours, And Tag 10 People. Use The First Letter Of Your Name To Answer Each Of The Following Questions. They Have To Be Real...Nothing Made Up! If The Person Before You Had The Same First Initial, You Must Use Different Answers. You Cannot Use Any Word Twice And You Can't Use Your Name For The Boy/ Girl Name Question. HAVE FUN!!!

1. What Is Your Name?
FLORIDA

2. A Four Letter Word:
FIVE

3. A Boy's Name:
FRANCIS

4. A Girl's Name:
FIONA

5. An Occupation:
FISHERMAN

6. A Color:
FOREST GREEN

7. Something You Wear:
FAVORITE LIP GLOSS

8. A Food:
FRENCH FRIES

9. Something Found In The Bathroom:
FACIAL CLEANSER

10. A Place:
FLORIST SHOP.. place juga ba itu..

11. A Reason For Being Late:
FUCKING JAM!

12. Something You Shout:
FIX IT!! FASTER!! hehe

13. A Movie Title:
FANTASTIC FOUR

14. Something You Drink:
FRUIT JUICE

15. A Musical Group:
FABULOUS CAT

16. A Street Name:
FOURTH STREET…macam sia pernah dengar2 ba..

17. A Type Of Car:
FORD

18. A Song Title:
FROSTY THE SNOWMAN ;)

19. A Verb:
FADE AWAY

::this is really fun! thanks for tagging cytna..:)

:: I only tag si sigu Vic:)

I'm Not in the mood for..

2009-02-09T23:01:00.000-08:00

I am not in the mood for blogging…I am not in the mood to write either... arr!! just not in the mood For Anything!! But… zzZZZzzzzz…sleeping beauty…ZZZzzzzzz

..just can’t get enough of my bed..! feel tired and sleepy and sleeeepy all the time..

Tag Again..from cynta

2009-02-04T22:56:00.000-08:00

1.What have you been doing recently?
- I’ve been busy searching article on the internet (and u don’t wanna knw about it)

2.Do you ever turn your cell phone off?
- yup..whenever I balik kampung

3.What happened at 10am today?
- errmm.. reading preggy related articles on the internet (mom-to-be symptom sdh ni :)

4.When did you last cry?
- 30th Dec 2008.. homesickness.. keboringan sdh d kgau kan..

5.Believe in fate/destiny?
- I do believe in ~~fate~~ faith :)

6.What do you want in your life now?
- debt free!! **credit card grrr!**

7.Do you carry an umbrella when it rains or just put up your hood?
- yupp..i just love my huge umbrella..

9.What bottoms are you wearing now?
- I’m wearing baju kurung now..so u knw la what bottoms I am wearing kan..

10.What's the nicest things in your inbox?
- malas la mo check..

11.Do you tend to make the relationship complicated?
- I don’t think so!

12.Are you wearing anything borrowed from anyone?
- nope..

13.What was the last movie you caught?
- bedtime story (sma la kita cynta:)..my movie’s buddy been very busy with his thesis nowadays so no time for panggung wayang..**sigh**

14.What are you proud of?
- hmmm..apa ya..?? cant decide.. have many things to be proud of

15.What does the oldest text msg in your inbox say?
- “bila kmu mo balik kampung?” frm my cuzy ogou, sent on 31st Dec 08

16.What was the last song you sang out loud?
- cant remember..hahaha

17.Do you have any nicknames?
- of coz! I have quite a lot.. but I born with the nickname ‘ida’ and its still my preferred nickname..*wink*

18.What does the newest text say?
- “Ok” frm evan

19.What time did you go to bed last night?
- 8:++pm..felt a bit dizzy and nauseous

20.Are you currently happy?
- yess I am.. Thank u Lord for the happiness :)

21.Who gives you the best advice?
- depends on what kind of advice I need

22.Do you eat whipped cream straight from the can?
- wonder..ermm have I ever eaten that??

23.Who did you talk on the phone with last night?
- no one..

24 .Is something bugging you now?
- yup....

25.Who was the last person to make you laugh?
- someone in da ofis.. hahahaha but she doesn't even mean to make a joke!! (I wish I could write it here..hehe)

***SORRY I CANT CONTINUE THIS GAME..all of my fren has been tagged with this**
XOXO

I am craving for Kampung foods!

2009-02-03T20:16:00.000-08:00

I have really no idea when this my food craving season will end.. I always feel like I want to eat and eat something even when I feel full! But I realize something that my craving for salty food is unbelievable.. if I don’t feel the salt on the food, I don’t satisfy!! This is really doesn’t make sense.. i never love salt like this before.. I will love the food when my hubby say it “too much salt!” and I think my dearest friend Cie also aware with this change of my eating-behavior.. I suddenly put kicap on my mi hun..biasanya simpan dlm mangkuk kecik tu jak..dan balik2 lagi tu ambil..hehe You know, I cannot explain the taste to you.. but it really taste GOOD and SATISFYING!! Nyamm..nyamm..nyamm..yummy!!

Hmm.. and what was in my head now?? Eerrrrr.. I’m craving for kampung foods..a CRISPY SALTED FISH yang kena jual sana pasar besar KB..with the BAMBANGAN PICKLE + SAMBAL TUHAU and.. the ulam immature tapioca leaf …and more..more...foods..please..

so..Enjoy the ~~Foods~~ Pictures and imagine the taste..
(look at your own risk)
Hehehe

the flavour enhancer for salted fish

the virgin tuhau

salted fish + chili

Sautéed immature tapioca leaf

(pic: courtesy of kuai)

my all time fav. deep fried ikan basung
(pic: courtesy of Kuai)

crispy satled fish

:: Thank God!! I don’t crave for any strange ~~things~~ foods..

:: to my Adrian: thanks for your patience and willingness to fulfilling my unending hunger

P/S:: i dont dare to find and put the picture of bambangan pickle here coz i don't think that i could resist the temptation..
hmm..i think the best thing to do this weekend is to balik kampung and ask my mom to cook those foods..:)
..tapun-tapun..

Cynta tagged me!

2009-01-31T19:40:00.000-08:00

Rules :
- Pick your birth month.
- Strike out anything that doesn’t apply to you .
- Bold (or italicize) the best apply to you .
- Copy to your own blog , with all twelve months .
- Tag 10 people

orange = so not me.
green = herrmmm...
blue = sometimes

I am AUGUST child
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends

JANUARY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY: Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizes dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH: Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL: Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving. Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY: Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE: Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY: Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST: Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride in oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER: Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER: Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to take things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER: Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER: Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egotistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

I’m gaining weight! but I am Happy

2009-01-28T23:46:00.000-08:00

Look at the above picture..^ (nay, ko kanal ka apakah benda tu?? Ekekek) I got two stripes!! it would definitely answered the kilos that I gained recently.. I’m PREGNANCY TEST POSITIVE and I know, from now on i'm getting bigger and bigger.. hahahahaha.. and this also definitely means that I have to change my wardrobe very soon as some of my clothes got tight and don’t fit me anymore..sob..sob..sob.. I’m just six weeks pregnant, and I’m already having trouble with my clothes.. arrr..!! Now I started to worry on what I’m going to wear tomorrow and tomorrow..and tomorrow…???oh no! I really feel silly wearing the maternity clothes this early..but its even stupid to wear my regular clothes and unzip it..kan! (my stupid idea)..hmm..i just pray that I will still have a clothes especially the baju kurungs to ware to work until I finish to shop my maternity collections..;)

::I’ll be 5 months pregnant at my brother’s wedding and I will really big at that time..hehe..anyway, don’t worry big bro I’ll still join your theme color;)

Things that I'm grateful for..

2009-01-22T18:59:00.001-08:00

It’s a common for everyone to make their new year’s resolutions at the very beginning of each year.. but this phenomenon sometimes gets me annoyed when everybody seem to be so concern(busy) and start asking about my own new year’s resolutions. . As for me, one new year’s resolutions is mean to be personal and not for anyone’s concern...bukan utk tontonan umum :) ..to be honest, I sometimes don’t even set any resolutions.. ’cos I prefer and enjoying dreaming and fantasizing..hehe and so do this year, instead of pressuring myself thinking and setting the 2009’s resolutions I better try thinking of some pleasurable thoughts. .Things that I’m grateful for.. (Especially dedicated to the year of 2008)

**number doesn’t represent priority (it randomly listed)

My family
My brothers
My sister
My sister in law
My husband
My savior
Friends
Nice people
Good food
Our house
My job
Movies
Our wedding presents
Our wedding ang pau
The spirit of christmas
The gospel
Wonderful praise & worship
My electric thermo pot
My purple nightdress
Love
Laughter
Hope
Hugs
Peace
Health
Money
Salary
Music
My wedding
Arabella nathania lorence turns 1 year old
Still good friend of nancy anthony
Sales and promotions
My wedding photographer
My white shoes
Our wedding albums
My bed
Eyelashes extensions
Necklace
Silver earing
Celcom broadband
Forgiveness, forgive and forgiven
My traditional costume
Our toaster
Our dogs
Thoughtful advice
Mom’s prayers
Answered prayers
Rain
Sunny sky
Water
Experienced in arranging my own wedding
Panadol extend
Donggongon permai polyclinic
Ridge saloon
Photoshop thingy
Yes i do studio
My diamond wedding ring
Kb’s mee hoon soup
Keningau’s ngau chap
Happiness
Joy
Blessing
Kisses
Dad’s talking can
Dad’s thoughtful words
Virgin coconut’s oil
Ostrich oil
Fruits
Flowers
Mr. Sikah the tailor
My hair treatment
Uncle kinsom, the peacemaker
Mr & mrs johanny, the videographer
Cuzzy juni, the wiring man
Mr & mrs ronald, the ninja car:)
Mr & mrs win, the host family
Aunty sauni, the most congenial lady
Mrs soyod, the generous woman on earth
Aunty kondoyom, the entertainer
Mr & mrs derinsim, a warm welcome to their house
Cuzzy ogou, for lovely hugs
Uncle sainte, the faithful
Dad’s artificial pool
My lavender bed room
My touch-responsive nightlight
and the Memories…

arrr…penat pulak.. I’ll be right back soon.. so stay tuned!! :)

:: i try to make it 111 list.. so that, i can titled this as "111 THINGS I'M GRATEFUL FOR" hehehe..

oh..i start breathing..!

2009-01-21T19:56:00.000-08:00

Now I’m here again, Thinking..!

thinking on how to breathe and be alive again after been ‘dead’ about a couple of months.. my blog is sooo dead for soo long..!! and now i feel that I’m a real newbie and nerd! Nevertheless, my gorgeous BFF cie still kept this link at her blog faithfully.. thanks amiga..:)

Well, I will start breathing with this title “The Chronicle of Our Wedding” (yet to be posted)

the title that narrating the events and the journey that led to our wedding on last November 22^nd, 2008. I’m writing this to share to others and, for me and for my dear husband to always remember the moments and emotions throughout those times because I do believe that it’s worth to be remembered

hmmm...I think pictures speaks better than my words.. so the entry will be posted with a numerous of pics..

::jz hope that this entry would answer my silent mode for all this while.. i become completely mentally and physically exhausted and flatted at the end of each day for about 5 months back.. but its worth it.. but NOT for the sake of this my dearie blog..:)

..UNDER CONSTRUCTION!!..

2008-10-05T17:47:00.000-07:00

1Borneo marii..

2008-09-29T20:44:00.000-07:00

I went to 1Borneo hyper mall (again) last night to see a movie with my very-own-moviegoer partner. Ya, we are a movie freak! pasangan kakiwayang urg bilang..:) We open to watching DVDs, but prefer sitting in a dark theater with other people and of course with wider screen and the better audio effects lar..

..and we decided to watch the 9:20pm show so that we have at least 30 minutes utk merayau-rayau dlm bangunan yg besar tu..

and just take a look at these..what i got during that 30mins..

what you got to say on those stuff..?? funny?? Weird?? Cute??

i must salute for those who dare to wear this signed-cap

"DON'T TRUST YOUR GIRLFRIEND"

..but i think this might useful at certain cases..hehe

"Oh Tuhan Jika Perutku Tidak Dapat Dikuruskan, Tolongla jadikan Perut Kawanku BUNCIT!"

HAHAHAHA!!!

P/S: the female figure at behind <<--it wasn't me!

..Nothing special about this..its just a watering can and, its looks so familiar..

but! how about this???

an elephant-faced watering can!

and everything seemed to got their own looks alike..

Frm the left: Food scraper (muka ayam), Food stopper (muka kucing), donno wat the exact name (tempat meletakkan sudu/ chopstick di meja - muka bab--i )

he doesn't just look confused, tapi mcm kebaru-baruan jer..hehe

(my muvee-goer partner)

..and this is me mingkiut-kiut (cute wannabe ekekek)..

i think i'm gonna love this my new hairstyle (i mean the jambul:)).. it really work on to balance my mama2-looks glasses

OMG!! i met the High School Musical artists!!!

in my dreams..hehe

then..

we watched the Death Race, i give 4 stars!! but, the hero’s name was spoiled my feelings.. its really reduce my pleasure of concentrating the scenes..and it almost unbearable!!! his name is Mr. Jensen Ames.. ah!!

>> i wish i could take more pics last nite..but i stopped snapping when i realize the CCTV is everywhere.. takut pulak tiba-tiba ada di youtube "perempuan sakai melawat 1Borneo"..:)

Jensen << style="font-style: italic;"> Overrated-Overused name of the year

I am one of the witnesses

2008-09-17T22:08:00.000-07:00

It was about 7pm on Sept 16, While strive hard to calm myself down as being stuck in super slow moving traffic, i saw this new huge Ads Board at the roadside.. “hmm..ada wedding studio baru mo dibuka lagi laa!!” I said to my sister.. as I saw a soft-pink background and a young male model wearing a bridegroom suit in the ads.” isk, napa kunun iklan dia ni gambar model pengantin lelaki saja?” I’m starting to wonder about the ads board.. hmmm.. then suddenly two guys with the huge camera in their hand appeared out of nowhere running towards the ads board.. they seems to be so rushing..

OMG!! How come I didn’t notice it.. begitu besar tu tulisan, sia tdk baca tadi.. desssh!!!

Look at it.. WILL YOU MARRY ME VIVIANA YEW??

That’s not an Advertisement.. it’s some sort of huge “proposing” banner.. Wow! how romantic and expensive creative ideas! and I m so..sooo lucky! I witness the moment when the guy proposed his girlfriend Miss Viviana. I bet shes definitely say YES I DO..she won't be able to say no laa..:) I just can read it form her facial expression.. she looks so surprised, happy and a bit confused..;0

Never appreciate the traffic jam as I do on that day.. hehehe

::CONGRATS GUYS..God Bless!::
XOxo

state of mind

2008-09-16T19:38:00.000-07:00

Cie’s entry on September 9, “Die..Jerk!” truly excites me! Its not that I have something to do with the said guy HYFK.. No! It’s just that I was so amazed by the way she expressed her emotions and her feelings bravely..freely.. it greatly encourages me to speak my mind out and say whatever I want to say at this very present time..

Personally, I do agree with her that the never ending chain-questions about MARRIAGE is TERRIBLY ANNOYING!!! “bah, bila lagi?” “apa lagi yg mo di tunggu, jangan lah kasi lambat2 bah..” duhh!! Getting SICK of those questions!! And believe it or not, that annoying questions had gotten me to the point where I hate to attend the family gathering or any event or occasion that gathers all my koinggoritt aunties. I rather missed the excitement of the party dan pura2 sibuk than being showered with their pot..pet..pot..pet!! 1000x10..

I know, some people might think that being single or unmarried at my age is considered ANDARTU. That title is supposed to be embarrassing!! Strangely.. sia tdk malu pun kahkahkah!! I just feel uncomfortable being surrounded by the people who have the same thought with my aunts. One of them used to say this to me ”ko ingat ko masih kuat ka beranak kalo umur ko 38 thn sdh??” **LONG GROAN** what on earth is that supposed to mean!!???? I think shes really needs to listen my unbeatable words to answer that statement....tapi takut dia tersinggung pulak nanti.. tahan hati ja la.. but I will speak it out.>>.Loudly<< when the time is right..! or I just ask her to pay all the cost of my wedding laa..

My dad has told me that I must have at least 3 years experiences of earning my own money, managing my own money, paying bills..etc.. and basically, understanding what money is. And now I understand..and telling myself that i wont get married until I have my finances in order because it’s really unrealistic idea for me to ask my parents to 100% support the expenses of my own wedding..

..errmm..in romantic side, to me, marriage is not just finding our soulmate..its beyond that!! My view about love and marriage have changed somewhat now that I’m older.. when I was younger, I used to think that marriage is all about finding our perfect partner..and i will marry to the guy who makes me fall in love.. he will be perfect for me, I’ll be perfect for him, then we will get married and live happily ever after.. but as time goes by and having seen more of the world, I realize now that life is not as beautiful as in a fairy tale.. we experienced the imperfectness even the unhappiness through our relationship.. The perfect handsome prince and the majestic castles will remains as a dreams forever..

I realize now that our partner can be very different from what we have envisioned. He doesn’t have to be perfect to be our partner, we don’t have to have everything in common. We don’t have to love the same things or to do everything together for the relationship to work.. to me, the most important things is his qualities to experiences the life’s ups and downs together with you, whose loves the worst side of you as well as the betters’..for me, couples are really needs to experience the good and bad things together before they stepping forward.. this naturally means that people have to be of a certain age to know and understand these things. I don’t mean to disagree or to object a couple to get married while they were on cloud nine, the things is not to deny that those mixture of good and bad things can happen to anyone, to every marriage.. Life is just like that..:)

..so..am I ready for marriage?? Not 100%! But then again, who is??..

-That’s all folks-

XOxoxo..:)

Useless!

2008-09-16T19:05:00.000-07:00

Arr!! I am tired of looking for new template for my blog!! I just noticed that there’s a problem in composing a post in this template.. grr!! My huge effort on the interface seems WORTHLESS!

Enjoying a daydream..

2008-09-02T00:35:00.000-07:00

I am so into SUPERNATURAL now.. I am NEW and soooo late!!!! I know, I am so damn late!!! But anyway.. It’s better late than never.. <<--trying to comfort myself with that thought.. i consider myself as a new fan even I was officially claimed myself as “so fucking obsessed:0” with the series since March this year. It’s been about five months, but comparing to the fans whose been watching the series since September 2005 (launching of the Season 1, in U.S) I am so new! Sigh..!

Shyly confessed, I consider myself as such a wuss that is why i don’t want to watch horror movies. I stay away from those as much as possible because i get really nasty ‘nightmares’ that last for days, or nights.. i know it might sounds ridiculous as a matured person but this is who I am and I have no choices but to accept this sensitiveness in me..ekekek;) My mom used to say these kind of words to me “only faithless people will get afraid of ghost!” what a sharp reminder huh! But in fact, this is nothing to do with my faith.. neither believe of those ghost in the movies! My precaution against getting frightened is something like the feeling of when we’re too cautious about what we eat in order to stay healthy and even to avoid of getting sick.. I stay away from those pleasant-less scenes (ugly + disgusting monsters) to avoid unpleasant feelings and emotions which could produce nightmare..

Flashing back.., what made me start watching the Supernatural?? it was when Adrian left the DVD at my house and I was so curious to know what’s so special about the series. I still remember how Adrian urges cie to download it from internet when he missed the show on tv..few years back but it doesn’t bother me at all at that time because I used to think that this Supernatural show was something like Misteri Nusantara or some kind of Anime series or like the other Malaysian paranormal show.... Pathetic! I was so naively believed my own assumptions for 2 years!!

..hmm..back to my very first day, I turned on my DVD player bravely..and I managed thru the first episode by closing my eyes on the scary parts, which must be about 50%-60% of the time..but amazingly it couldn’t stop me from continuing watching the episode 2 and until I realized that it was not really that scary series, there were a lot of entertaining moments even funnier then the scary ones..PLUS, the guys in there are too irresistible especially the brother!! -Dean Winchester-

..as the results of my ridiculous obsession on the guy named Dean in the series, now I know the 50 states of United States of America and even could names the big cities in each states.. I think I can point where is LA, California, Texas, Louisana, New york..and etc. located even on the blank map of US.. Unbelievable! hahahaha.. I googled everything about the actor that could be possibly accessed over the net..hahahahaa.. The more I know about him the more I obsess.. we should meet first, Jensen Ackles!.. (Please don’t kill me!! <- to anyone who loves me;) hehe

:: to my laling Adrian, Season 2 & 3 please....:)

I missed it!

2008-08-24T23:29:00.000-07:00

Today is 25^th of August, my birthday was passed nineteen days. I was kinda regret ‘cos I didn’t manage to make any entry on my birthday.. I’d missed the number of 06.08.08..(August 6,) as I wanted it to be listed in my archive..hmmm…

..btw,,There’s nothing much to be said on my recent 28th birthday..there was no well-planned birthday celebration.. but I still can say that, it was such a pleasant day to be remembered..

Some people might find it pathetic when their birthday goes by without any celebrations.. even, some people sometimes, might wonder what’s their next year birthday’s celebration will be..? Luckily, I am not that kind of person.. I was trained and grew up in the home environment of not to expect anything on your birthday. My childhood birthday passed by without any memorable trace as i have never experienced of blowing my own birthday cake's candles until i reached my 19th birthday…itu pun birthday beramai-ramai..hehe:) though, I NEVER blame my parents for that ‘cos i've always believed that their loves counts more than everything in this world.. soo..instead of counting the number of candles on the birthday cake..i rather count my countless blessings and happiness throughout the years...:)

.. a pleasant surprises on 06.08.08..

From: Sarah
..tank top sleeveless & a musical stuff (donno wat's the name..but its really sounds sweet)

From: Anna, Evan & Louis
..Black Handbag..

From: My Lil.Sister
..Hair clip..

>> Got 3 items from Adrian
>> 2 items from Adrian's mom
>> home made traditional cookies frm my mom (tp belated sdh laa..)

(The picture is unavailable - to the public:-) )

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! Xoxoxo!!

Thought for Today - PEACE -

2008-08-01T00:46:00.000-07:00

It may seem almost useless to talk about peace when around us we see a continued state of ‘peacelessness’. Peacelessness makes it necessary for us to draw upon our own source of peace.

Consider the flowers.. They too live in this peaceless environment. They too have to endure the pollution and decay of the world of nature. Yet, wherever they are found, be it by the congested roadside, near the swamps, in the desert, or amid the thorns.. they are eternally beautiful and fragrant. It is not by chance that flowers are given for every occasion. Flowers call forth the images of peace and tranquility. It is their nature..

We are also like flowers. We are the flowers of the garden of God. In this worldwide garden, we too are threatened by polluted and degraded circumstances. But when we realize that the original nature of our soul is peace, then we can combine with God who is the Ocean of Peace, and so become the embodiment of peace, the living, thinking flowers..

Expression for today!

2008-07-23T00:15:00.000-07:00

I am extremely STRESSS!! and disgusted with.."i wish i can scream it out!!" aarrrggghhhh!!

Shopping with The Oligarchs.. I just wished..

2008-07-15T20:51:00.000-07:00

I can’t stop thinking about the article that I’ve read in the magazine last night.. “Shopping With The Oligarchs”. Practically, I don’t understand the exact meaning of the word “oligarchs” but the word “shopping” intrigued me to read it. Then, apparently the main idea of the article is the story of this Super-Duper Rich Russian who known or labeled as an Oligarchs and their Event of the Year – The Annual Moscow Millionaire Fair. According to the article, when Forbes magazine began compiling a Russian rich list in 2004, it stated that there were 36 billionaires. Last year there were 53, worth a total of $2++.++ billion which is equivalent to RM9++.++ billion... I only remember the 1^st digit..(Who cares about the digit when we see the total amounts is ended with the word BILLION..right!)

I can’t even begin to imagine their wealth..what do Russia’s super rich splurge on?? Wonder, what else they want? what satisfaction means for them?? Or even how??.. take for example, the article says that there are a lot of things for sale at the millionaire fair, most of which we’d never want.. such as, a mobile phone studded with rubies and diamonds, a crystal-encrusted Mercedes Benz, a diamond-studded computer zip card, Gulfstream jets and etc..etc.. but personally, I think the most unnecessary luxury goods was the mattress which is worth about RM200 +++.++ sama mcm harga rumah jak!! Bagus kalau boleh di bawa kemana-mana.. I don’t think that they could fully utilize the RM200 +++. ++ that they put on the mattress in their bedroom..isk..isk.. at least the crystal-covered sports cars or that diamond-studded phone can be shown-off.. (To the camera/ press or perhaps, to the potential girlfriend or a Mrs Oligarch..Huahahahaa!)

Suddenly I felt ashamed to admit that the 1Borneo is the biggest shopping mall in my town.. I imagined the Russian rich girl shopping at that mall wearing her gold lamé hotpants with crystal-studded cutaway bra top..or backless silver dress.. and..and.. together with her is the unlimited credits of VISA cards..which even can afford the entire mall.. oh!! I wish she drops a pieces of the diamond/ crystal in her bra and I am the lucky person found it..hehehe.. RM..RM..RM.. I just wished!! Amen.. ;)
......No wonder my Adrian called me with so many humorous nickname (it sounds childish) and he says it jeeringly..*seriously* *mengejek* because i always emotionally attached and influenced by the things that i read or watched.. ok for example, few days ago he asked me to watch Angelina Jolie’s latest film, “Wanted” but I refused! with the reason that I hate to see her face on the screen after what she did in her personal life (no need to explain la..semua org pun tau sudah)..and yesterday suddenly I cant stop talking..and talking and telling Adrian how I amazed Angelina’s new born twins…then, my Adrian said, aaikk..ko bukan tidak suka Angelina ka?? Hahahaha… only cie understands..:)

The $54,000 diamond-crusted Samsung SPH-E3200 & Diamond Studded Gold Bra.

Any Other Desire? � �

..Something On My Mind..

2008-06-29T21:58:00.000-07:00

It has been a long time since I made the last entry, have not posted anything almost a month.. hmm.. I have no specific reasons for that long gap.. 'cos I’m not even particularly active on other socialize web such as friendster, facebook, myspace etc… as I used to keen on not so long ago.. I'm getting bored with the tiring peoples inside there and found it nearly valueless… plus.. I’ve found other much-much more interesting and meaningful sites to surfs..

....in fact, there’s a million things on my mind at this time ...but have less effort to express it into readable form.. or perhaps, I might not ready to share it with anybody else... All I can say is that there’s a lot of good things going on right now.. Thank you Lord!

by the way..would like to share something that caught my eye while driving home few days ago.. a Beautiful Rainbow in the sky.. a full rainbow!! (sorry.. my hp cant capture wide-angle..)

The creation suddenly reminds me one of the lessons during my Sunday School
“The story of Prophet Noah & the Ark and the Faithfulness of God”

…This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life."

(Gen. 8:21; 9:1,9,11-15)

..lets take a look another images of rainbow frm my collection..

a Full-circle Rainbow: taken just outside of my office (Aug, 2007)

(ini pun rainbow ka ini ar..?? hehe)

THE HEART SPEAKS

2008-05-25T06:08:00.000-07:00

God is the source of true, pure and holy love. It is a blessing to die (not by committing suicide) for this kind of love, rather than to live with wealth without love at all.

When God fills two people’s hearts with his precious love, he unites them in the glory of His love, which endures forever.

If you have this love, you won’t trade it for anything in this world.

This love is a treasure, and more valuable than anything in the entire world. True, pure and holy love is godly and it is from God. It is precious and you cannot and should not easily share this or give it to someone who is not united with you through the blood of Jesus Christ.

To give your heart in love to an unbeliever is not God’s will. It is His will that you be united as one, with another believer. God’s word is clear on this, what does the light have to do with darkness? And unless two agree how can they stand together?

You cannot expect God to bless an unholy union.
We are so precious in God's eyes because we have been redeemed by the blood of Christ.

We must give our lives to Him and submit our heart, mind and soul to His will, so that we may be found faithful and obedient.

His will for us is to be together with believers. We are precious, so precious in His eyes.Here are some references that help us understand just how precious love is, and how we are to demonstrate that love in our lives.

Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces. Mathew 7:6 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of the living God and idols. For we are the temple of the living God.

As God has said; I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people. Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you. I will be a Farther to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty. II Corinthians 6:14-18.

If it is love from God and by God, then the answer will be yes. In this case you have chosen to trust in the Lord, and that makes tomorrows assured and will be always with Him. It seems by doing this; you had sought the Kingdom of God first. This is how we know that we have chosen His path and walk in His light. It is by pulling down your own plan, then priorities His principles then plan parallel to His will, think what the best you could do to make His plan being fulfilled in your life. By doing this, you will live joyfully with the Lord. By choosing His plan a person could find his or her true love offered by the Lord.

Your love life will be more fun then ever before. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Mathew 6:33-34When you have true love, it will guide you to experience practical holiness. This love will lead you to seek God more than ever before.
God is love. His love is faithful. God's love is faithful. His children learned His love. True love is faithful.

This love is demonstrated by Christ, in that His love was so great for the Father that He was obedient even unto death, and to this day He continues to intercede in heaven for mankind.

True love is rare and priceless. True love is pure and sincere. True love is purified by fire. True love will endure the worst of circumstances and the greatest of hardships.

True love is pure like honey and gold. True love can be tested by the fiery trials and tribulations of life and come out shining even more brightly than before.
True love is pure like the light.

True love is so bright that it penetrates the heart. It comes with light of life. True love is holy. True love is a blessing from heaven.

So, if love is so precious as pearl... (Understand that there are no two pearls that are exactly alike. Pearls area a testament to the rich treasures of earth. A pearl starts out as a small grain of sand and in time becomes more valuable than you might imagine, pearls today can sell for as much as $100,000.00 USD for a single strand necklace), we will be offending the giver (Holy Spirit/God) if we neglect and throw it away...Mathew 7:6. Love should be given back to the Lord by loving the person He chose for you...so that that love bare fruits and be shared as testimony to many more people (through ministry).

God loves you more than anyone can love you, because His love is perfect. He will only give you the best. If you can carry on with your daily life without the love of a man or woman in an intimate way or a marriage relationship, then you probably need to do that.

If you can stay faithful and encouraged without someone loving you in this manner, then you should be ok.

If you can wake up in the morning, do your daily routine, and concentrate on your responsibilities without love, I think you should do that too.

If you can watch all the pictures and videos without feeling anything, then you should be ok. If you can come home one day and say hi without regretting anything, than you must have done something right.

If you can stay in peace with God with what you are doing and what you are going to do, than that is great.

If you think that one day you will say something to the person you have prayed for, the one you love the most, then find out that it was too late... that is not ok for you...because no matter what you do in life, no matter what your academic or financial achievements may be, no matter how wealthy you are, if you fail to express your true love, and fail to recognize His calling for your life, then your life becomes mechanical, lacking of true happiness and you will live with a lot of regrets and disappointments.

You may say little things are not important but then you will find out that those little things are seeds of many areas of life in a very near future. You may say that you not regretting anything now but down the road you will see everything in a different dimension.

And all of those little unfulfilled desires become regrets and eventually a root of bitterness.You may have this experience. If we look back and see everything from the beginning, we will find out that you have made a lot of decisions to show your love. You successfully have shown the deepest and purest desire of your heart without reserve.

You have shattered thousands crystal tears for a person and went through many nights, exhausting your heart. You have prayed many prayers until you came to a point where no one could ever bear. One day you thought God must have not listening to your prayers. Then you tried to figure out something different. You think that you can find happiness out of Gods will. At the end you find void, meaningless, spiritual disaster and danger.
God loves you and he knows the best for you. He has been faithful to you, listening to your prayers; He has never left you alone and will never ever abandon you.

He touched your heart by showing you the differences, and He never let you to go too far. He is showing you His character through someone, the one that you long to love, to have for your life just as God desires you in His life.

Till the day, the day that God displays His answer to your prayers. He asked you, do you remember your prayers? He sets a situation where or when you have forgotten all of your requests, your promises and everything that you have gone through. He blows away your mind, your understanding, your perceptions and your own plan. He displays Himself and that He alone is sovereign. That He is in control and He is God. He surprises you by bringing back the person you love the most. He wants you to know how much He loves you through this person. God wants to show you the REAL meaning of true love. God wants to show you love that the world cannot give. He wants you to have that in your life.

Love can be a disaster to your life if it is not in the light of God. True love can encourage you, make you holy, make you strong and make you closer to God everyday. You can have true and pure love but if you can go on without love, then that is your choice.
God's plans are not against one another but rather cooperating with one another. If you can see how God works in your relationship, everything that is against it will always be something unholy. Do not get surprised and wonder why the enemy is working so hard to go against true and pure relationships.

The true love of God is greater than any love that the world can ever give.Room for compromise is not of God because mistake doesn't please God at all (Read the Bible, it is there and you will find that this is true).

Compromises are offered by the enemy, choosing not to buy the lie of compromise, is godly. We make wrong decisions and God has nothing to do with it. It is human factor. It is a choice to live holy, to love and to care.
Feelings and emotions alone are just too shallow when it comes to loving someone in the way that God has directed us to love, according to His Word.

When we say we care for someone, this is much more than flattering feelings. This means commitment, unshaken, undeniable and immovable. Physical attractions may fade away, but the heart speaks love through action more than mere words.

David Ebin
[28 October, 2007]

I just LOVE reading this..

This is called busy doing nothing!!

2008-05-11T22:58:00.000-07:00

Just as the title says.. I am busy doing something that doesn’t help me AT ALL in finishing my works; which is supposed to be completed/ done by now. But I am really not in a mood to do “those works”… Moreover, the students’ registration is on the day after tomorrow so.. I would like to procrastinate a little while longer and fillings my time with something that pleases me..

And this is the result.. I busied myself with this piece of works.. haha:)

My Bro's Engagement Day.

2008-05-06T19:30:00.000-07:00

!! CONGRATULATION TO : PELIPUS & JESSICA !!
05.05.2008
Kg.Minansut Bingor Keningau

..i'm so proud of myself!! i have created such a beautiful bakul for my bro's hantaran..hehe..

..Kenangan di Puncak Kimanis.. We're on a road (K'gau-KB)
Wah!! romantik juga dorg uncle2 n aunty2 sia tu..
tdk perasan pulak dorg pose besama pasangan masing2:)
and the MOST Romantic-Pose goes to.. my lovely Papa n Mamy!!

Wish Me LUCK!

2008-04-30T00:26:00.000-07:00

I was informed by the management that I’m going to accompany Ying to KLJ next week.. and the “Best” part is they wants me to meet the new faculty dean, Dr. Syed Malek without explaining to me the clear-purposes of the meeting.. they just simply asked and wanted me to come along with Ying.. OMG!! It means I carry big responsibilities. I have to come up with my very own quality-issues and opinions yet, professional. arr!! i think, I lost my nerve..! I have really no idea on what am I going to do over there.. I can’t even imagine myself being alone with the Dean in his office.. Sounds scary isn’t it?..takutt..

Huuuuh..! A million thanks to my beloved tutors; Rechard, Nel, Joe, Tino, and Bond. I really appreciate your helpful thoughts and encourages.. I’ll try my best to be your everdearest coordinator *wink* and bringing up all your thoughts and opinions to the Faculty ok. And please guys.. accompany me with some prayers and wishes of LUCK!.. (mcm pi berperang pulak hihi:)

Oppss..

2008-04-24T01:13:00.000-07:00

Cie..maaf..! i baru perasan beh..sama pulak title yg first entry sia dgn ko tu.. hehe.. "i'm back for good"

At Last!!

2008-04-24T00:32:00.000-07:00

Finally! I’ve finished constructing this page after so many attempts..!! i didn’t create it from the sketch. I mean, I'd just managed the template provided on this sites.. doing a series of tasks like managing, arranging, applying, organizing and editing the template is not that easy as we thoughts when we’re in the lack-of-concentration situation.. Well, I’m in the office, I’m not in the right position to do this kind of stuff especially at this time as I have to deal with this “Exam-Slip Issues". Students come up with their own crucial questions and creative excuses.. Despite it was a genuine or lame excuses (quoted from cie:-) THOSE Questions + Excuses require me to be very careful with my words and definitely being able to make wise judgments and advice to the students. That’s totally made you out of focus on what you’re currently doing.. such as managing the blogspot-template:)

Dean Winchester OR Jensen Ackles ??

2008-04-23T01:40:00.000-07:00

I registered in Jensen Ackles Fans’ site today.. My affection of his role as Dean Winchester in Supernatural Tv-series is getting stronger and stronger… and even stronger as I watched him in the series almost every day since Adi brought this Complete First Season-DVD a few days ago..

The stories in the series as we knew it, are all about hunting evils, fighting devils and those terrifying things.. and that was really scary!! I used to say that I DO NOT watch any horror movies (as still stated in my fs profile..) I hate the feelings of getting FRIGHTENED especially being alone at home..:)
Strangely, I think that statement is no longer applicable to me as of now SUPERNATURAL is in my First Rank. Or...is it just because of Jensen Ackles in the series..?? I think, i can’t convince myself for continuing watching the series if they demise the role of Dean Winchester or if the role will be acted by someone else..

O ya..the main reason why I registered in jensenacklesfans.com is to get the privilege of viewing his private photo while he went a trip to Australia recently.. saja ba mo tengok muka terbaru dia hehe.. bila la dapat jumpa dia ni..hmm..its too good to be true..:(

I'm Back!! for Good....

2008-04-21T23:23:00.000-07:00

I used to have an account here in blogspot.com not so long ago but then i decided to delete it due to some unfathomable reason (i seem not to need it anymore..)

and here i go again.. yet haven’t decided where or what are the direction of my blog.. Well, this is public.. i told myself to not open up myself to any documented material especially here on the Net.. This is some kind of precaution to myself because i always tend to express my deepest feeling every time I start blogging..(tempat meluahkan perasaan ba..hahaha)

..Anyway i will share anything that came across my eyes and mind.. It could be miscellaneous things.. but it would be The Reflections of the heart..*wink*